Processing A Monster Calls

It's been a whirlwind of a week--nope, month. We've been traveling a lot (part of Ethan's work), visiting family, starting many new projects (both business and personal), saying goodbye to my furry friend Cosmo (my much-loved, dog-like, snuggly cat of 14 years), and trying to deal with all the emotions of losing Mom and everything that comes with that in the midst of it all.

A couple of nights ago, we watched A Monster Calls for the first time. I had been wanting to watch it for a long time, but I had forgotten it about a little boy grieving the sickness and loss of his mother. It was a painful, but I think ultimately good, lapse of memory that resulted in lots of kleenex and a need to step back, think, and draw things.

At times I've put a lot of pressure on myself to get back into posting on social media and throw myself into my MATS class and all sorts of ideas I've had on the backburner for awhile. But there's also a pretty pressing need to slow down or stop entirely and just... be, I guess. Let myself catch up with me, if you will.

And after watching A Monster Calls, all that rushing around and planning and "should"ing reminded me of the way Conor was, in his own way, trying to run away from himself and his fear.

So the other day, after a morning of sipping my coffee slowly and intentionally not letting all the "should"s in, I drew some things, and this was one of them:

 

A peek into the sketch phase.

 

 

Some of this one came out of a need to process A Monster Calls.

I've also always had kind of a thing for the idea of a big, potentially dangerous animal and a child together--that probably goes back to Aslan. Not tame, but safe in the best way. Someone you can let all that darkness and mess out with, who will take it and love you through all of it.

I just started drawing, and it became the girl. From there everything just kind of appeared in my head, like it already existed. I knew she had a big animal with her, and it took me a little bit to figure out what it was, but all the emotions and feel of it was just there.

It'll be coming to the shop soon!